Hehe<3

My name is Sami.
As many people should know. I'm just your simple teenage girl. Who's entire World revolves around just 1 single person. Her name is Lauren. She's the most perfect. Beautiful Girl in the world That I have ever laid my eyes on. I can't last a second with out her love. I've been searching for her for my entire life. Now that I've found her finally. That single soul that Mine fits with perfectly. I can't let her go. When I wake up to her in the Morning. Nothing in the World seems more Perfect. Waking up to see her smiling beautiful Angelic Face. Nothing can ever compare to that. Her and I are proud of what we have. It's true. I talk about her to every person I talk too. I'm constantly thinking about her. So every word that comes out of my mouth. Revolves around her. I never have a bad thing to say about her. Unless I'm joking around with her. And Jokingly calling her a Bitch. Thats about it. Hell. Her and I could be in another bad fight. Like we have been lately. And I'll still have nothing bad to say about her. I don't think It's possible for me to think anything bad about her. Though I don't trust her at all. And she doesn't trust me. Because of what Stupid people have said. Bringing up stuff from before and Saying that It's happening now. When it's not. I'll do anything I can to prove it too her. People may not want her and I to be together. Like all the People at Northwest High School. Or Her Mom. But I mean...Once you find your true Love. You shouldn't let anything stand in the Way of that. I'm not. I've changed my ways. I've stopped doing everything I possibly could. Just to make her Smile. That smile that always melts my heart. God I wish I could describe it. But all I can say is..the smile that she gives me when we first see each other...it's just...truely magic..I've never seen anything that Magical in my life. It's just something I'll never forget.I love her Smile. I love her Lips. I love everything about her. But hey. I have to cut short on this. I wanna edit the Play list I made for her. it's below if you wanna hear it. So peace out. I love you Lauren.

View My Playlist

Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com

View My Playlist

Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com

You left me with this broken mess.
Shattered hopes and Dreams.
Theres nothing left.
In side I just want to scream.

I can't handle the pain.
I can't hold it in.
I'd never be the same.
Until the very end.

You've stared to become a fear.
The greatest one I've ever had.
I have to ask dear.
Do you find that at all bad?

I hide from you.
When you enter the room.
Even when theres nothing to do.
My Life looks like it's just in doom.

I'm scared to Love.
I'm scared to look out.
It comes from above?
Is what people talk about.

I haven't seen heaven.
And I haven't seen God.

And I'm so scared to try and see.
Because I just can't trust.
That maybe loves for me.
I know love is a must.

But I'm just scared of what it may be.
But Even though I'm scared.
And thats always been me.
I'm tired of scared.

So I must admit my final a-do.
I realize this now.
That well basically I've fallin inlove with you.
It's just like...Oh wow.


Lol. Sorry I got bored and wanted to write something that was in my head. See...if I don't think of stuff before I just write it down. This is what it comes out as. Lol. Loserish I know. Go ahead and Laugh...morons...lol

Plinkle Orange Cupcakes...

As most people know. I'm a stubborn ass Betch. I don't change for anyone. But I let people walk all over me. I'm scared for Change. Because I already know that all Change brings me is more and more pain..I don't wanna be hurt..I don't wanna have to live with all the scars. But I mean what am I supposed to do. Whenever Lauren's just pressuring me into it. And just making the pain seem more and more real that It's gonna come. I mean. I know I keep her in a bubble. But it's just so that I know that No ones gonna come in between us. Like they have before. I mean. Whenever she'd hang out with her friends. She'd always ignore me. We'd hardly talk. So I'd just be sitting there on the phone listening to her busting up laughing with her friends. Wishing that I could have all of her attention. But instead she just wants to spend all the time with friends. And I know that this sounds selfish. But I want all of her attention. I don't wanna share it at all. I've never gotten anyones attention all to my self. I've never once gotten that. But Now. I've been getting it. Even if It is at short periods of time. I still get it at least. And I like it. But now...everyones trying to take that away from me..mostly...lauren...She doesn't like that I have her in a bubble. And that I have myself in one. She doesn't like giving me all of her attention its been seeming more and more.. And that just shows me that I am gonna get hurt..I mean. I already know it. It'll be the same as before. If not worse. She's never gonna wanna be on the phone so that we can talk. Because she's gonna be too busy hanging out with friends. And she's never gonna want to come to my house to see me. Or me come out there. cause she's gonna have plans with friends. thats why I've been so hard lately. Not wanting to change things. Because I don't want that too happen. But I mean..I can't really tell her. Because I already know what she's gonna say. Nothings gonna happen. Everythings gonna be the same. bullshit..I already know it's not. Half the time her and I are on the phone lately. We're aruging because she wants to go hang out with friends. To the point im crying in a ball on my floor telling her I'll call her back. Lately..It seems she doesn't care or doesn't notice that this has been happening more lately. I've be come more depressed then ever. (And no I ain't just saying that. I ain't a friggin emo kid. so don't start shit.) I mean every time lauren and i are on the phone. I at least break into tears at least twice. I don't go out side period. I hardly eat. but I mean I force myself too. For Laurens sake. I never really leave my room. I'm tired of it...it hurts...she doesn't seem to really wanna talk to me..cause she always wants to be hanging out with her friends...We're almost always on the phone now...but...i mean...When she's with friends. We're never on the phone. or if we are. She's ignoring the fuck outta me. And She's paying attention to her friends. Then if I decide to say anything..I have to repeat it like a million times. I don't wanna go back to that. Because I know. That either thats gonna happen. Or someones gonna come inbetween us again. I already know it. But she doesn't believe me at all. I'm not stupid. I know it's gonna happen...I don't like feeling like this. But I mean what can I do...she doesn't wanna talk to me. It's heartbreaking. I'd rather be dead then go threw this and all this friggin pain...but she doesn't seem to really notice that...well...i'ma go...i'ma listen to music...peace...

Lauren..2.

I never know what to do.
I can't think.
All my thoughts revolve around you.
Theres not a simple little thing.

Whatever you may see.
In this big ol' heart.
Is forever to be yours.
With out it ever falling apart.

I'll always be here.
No matter what people may say.
Because you see my dear.
This is Gods Way.

He's sent me an angel.
For the whole world to see.
My heart came untangled.
When you started walking towards me.

The glow thats around your body.
Has me mezmerized.
God seems to have been calling.
To bring you in my life.

I never saw such beauty.
Could ever be mine.
Forever staring in your eyes.
Losing track of time.

Hold me upon your skin.
Hold me tight.
As if this were the end.
To protect us from this fight.

I'll forever be saving you.
No matter what you might think.
No matter what you may do.
I'm always here protecting you.

I love you...

Buck.

I'm hiding all the pain.
That I've Bottled up inside.
I can't believe nothings been the same.
Since you got taken away.

I know your looking down on me.
With every thing I have.

You always seemed to listen to me.
When I'd have too much to say.
Days seem to get brighter.
The more that I seem to pray.

I wish You hadn't left me.
But I still know your here.
I just can't believe that I can't see.
Everything that we shared was soo dear.

Sharing smiles every single day.
Like you wouldn't believe.
This was our way.
Before you decided too leave.

I imagined you by me.
Till the end of forever.
You were my little Brother.
As everyone would see.

You knew that I cared what happened too you.
But you didn't think that I would help.
I would do anything just to see you.
I would have stopped you the day before you left.

I'd have been there to listen.
I would have been there to hold you in my arms.
My heart that you left an impression.
For other people a siblings death would have been the end.

But I know deep inside.
That you and I my Angel.
Shall meet up in heaven.

You'll meet me with open arms.
As I walk threw heavens gates.
You'll hold me close and never let me go.
You'll show me around the magical kingdom.
You'll keep me safe.

But until this day comes my Brother.
I'll dream of you.
Like no other.
Thats all I'll do.
Till my heart finally finds you.
I miss you.











I was just sitting here at my computer thinking of my brother and looking at his webpage on VirtualMemorial.com search James Postawko thats him. And I wanted to write him something. You never truely know what means the world to you till you lose it. My brother ment everything too me. And a Premature death took him away from me. I never got to tell him goodbye and I never got to tell him how much I care. But i know that he can feel it while he flies up in the Sky. Because he was just that Smart. I know he's watching over my family every day. And I just can't wait till I can be with him again. I miss him soo much. You just don't understand.

Lauren.

I spent forever looking for you.
Not knowing what to do.
Hopeing your out there looking for me too.

Flying over the world looking all around.
I'll fly to where ever you tend to be.
Faster than the speed of Sound.
Because it's you that I need.

Knowing your supposed to be mine.
And I be yours.
Gives me forevers time.
Knowing it's you I adore.

I love you more then you'll ever know.
Because you see.
It'll take the end of Forever for it too show.
Thats the way it's supposed to be.

True love lasts a lifetime.
And forever and a day.
Luckily enough I've found mine.
And I have nothing left too say.

She's by my side day and Night.
Teaching me new things.
That I've lost in my sights.
She's taught me how to think.

She's taught me to care.
If I ever lost her.
I'd have nothing to bare.
She's take away the Hurt.

And she's taken away the Pain.
I can't think of anything to say.
I know nothing will be the same.
When she decides to go her way.

But I have one more thing.
Needed to be said.
You see I can't think.
And I just lay in my bed.

Every thought in my head.
Revolves around you.
I have one last thing that needs to be said.
And that is I love you...

Poem.

I'm just a simple Teenage girl.
With a Simple teenage Heart.
I care too much.
That my worlds falling apart.

I've lost my hope in you.
Because of every little thing.
You always seem to do.
I haven't been able to think.

Everything seems to be lost in reality.
I'm scared to be at home.
Everything seems to be a part of normality.
Knowing that once again I'm all alone.

I believed every word you ever said.
Not knowing that you were waiting for the right time.
To screw everything up in my head.
I thought this would be a crime.

Fly me up.
And let me fall.
I've had enough.
Of it all.

I trusted you.
And what do you do?
Your tear out my heart.
And rip my world apart.

You've left your mark.
All upon my skin.

I cut myself open.
To let the pain out.
The marks on my skin.
Are the things people worry about.

People know what you've done.
Killing me inside.
Things have to be undone.
So that things will be alright.

Bubble Buddy!!!

if you can't tell by now, I'm like Extremely bored at the moment. I'm sitting here in my class room at Windsor HS. And It sucks ass. I'm hungry. I didn't eat breakfast. And My Wife is taking hella long to text back. My back hurts like fuck cause I fell off my bed this morning. Wow..Great way to wake up...[[My mom texted my phone and when it went off I freaked out and flipped off my bed screaming]]. It was actually hilarious you shoulda seen it. Fuck the rides to school with Awesome people. I'd rather ride the bus to school with All fuckin ugly ass skanks and family. So yea. The bus sucks ass. I don't talk to anyone on it. Hell I don't talk to anyone period but my Girl<3. And my mom and Dad and Sister Sarah. Thats it. [[Yea I know. HUUUUUUUUGGGGEEEE friggin list]]. I'm tired of the music I'm listening too. Because it sucks ass. Cause I know all the songs by heart that I'm listening to right now. So yea. I'm basically sitting here at my computer looking like a retard singing along. Thats how bad it is. I'm drawling stupid little bunny pictures all over my desk. It's pretty awesome. I have one picture of a bunny holding a gun holding a Turtle at gun point. It's friggin hilarious. Sorry. I like watching Cartoons in the Morning so my Imagination tends to Revolve around Animated little Animal friends. Causing Harm to One another. Yea I watch the Happy Tree Friends. Who don't that I know? Thats right. No one. All my friends are friggin in luff with the show. Cause were that big of losers. Oh and hold on. To make things worse. Hardly any of my clothes were clean this morning. So I'm stuck in My Ducky Friggin Pajamas that have Little Ducks, Bubbles and the Words Quack Quack all over it. And I'm in a friggin long shirt. And a Plaid Flannel Shirt on top of it. With my hair up in a bun. And I couldn't friggin find any of my make up this morning so Yea. I'm into the Whole:I don't care what I look like someone will love me no matter what I look like, Ol' Natural Look today.;Bull Shit! I'm like going crazy trying to throw something together. To at least look Decent. I don't need people looking at what I wear to sleep besides My wife. And well...When she's staying over. Well....Were not going into Detail lol. Well Hey. I g2g. I gottsa get some Work Done. COME BATMAN! TO MY BASEMENT FOR VIDEO GAMES FUCK SAVING THE WORLD LETS SAVE SPONGEBOB FROM THE EVIL MR. PLANKTON ON HIS VIDEO GAME "SPONGE BOB THE MOVIE"!!!!!!!Peace Betch Niggs!!!

Why?

I'm just a simple teenage girl. With to big of a heart. and It just so happens to be Non-Existent at the moment. Everytime I get close to someone they seem to shatter it or just take off with a part of it. This has been happening to me since I came around. And Now That I'm almost 16 years of age. I'm finally getting tired of it. And I'm making a stand for what I believe to be right. And I'm finally learning to trust people. Little by little. But the people I begin to trust. Ruin it. And hurt me. And they throw down all of my ideas Or just say things about what I think or something. To critizsize me. And I'm getting so tired of it. I have issues. Everyone does. Theres not a single person in this Universe that doesn't have issues. And if there is. HA! I want to see this person with my own 2 eyes. Then I'll believe this to be true.I have my own mind and I think my own way. I am an individual. And I like things in certian ways. Yet people seem to find this wrong. I'm tired of being called a:Faggot, Whore, B*tch, Lesbian, And Etc...; I have low selfesteem. And hardly show how I feel. It seems that when I do this. People are more comfortable. Because they don't gotta think about the "Emo" kid...first off. I am NOT Emo. There isn't really a thing called Emo. Its a music label for certian kinds of music. Secondly. I'm Human, And Holding in emotions, Leads people to doing stupid things. And I don't wanna end up doing something that I'd end up regreting. So what should I do? Hold things in because you want me too and end up doing something stupid. Or should I just let it out so that I'm at least a little better and a little happier? Whats so wrong with the First one..Hmm...Lets see...People that do this...Sometimes commit suicide. Umm yea. I'll go with the second one. please. Peace out. I got school work.